Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Randomize
