Sponge bath it is.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
