Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
