When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
