we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
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