Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I need to stop coming to work sober
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
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