I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
