Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
