Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
