On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
