$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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