I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
