In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
This house was built for laser tag.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
