Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(443): View more from Maryland

remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing

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(256): View more from Alabama

made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold

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(904): View more from Florida

all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...

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(937): View more from Ohio

they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"

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(646): View more from New York

You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?

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(201): View more from New Jersey

I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.

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(216): View more from Ohio

They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.

(216): View more from Ohio

Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n

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