this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Randomize
