She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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