'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
