So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
