This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
