i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
