what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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