I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
