yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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