after a month anything with tits is on the radar
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
