Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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