I'm eating all of the evidence.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
