Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
