Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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