People in love make me want to vomit
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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