Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
