well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
