Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
