No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
