I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
