Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
