I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
from now on my penis is your penis
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
