I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
