is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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