Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
