Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
