once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
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