are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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