oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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