As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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