now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
