well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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