I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
