No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Actions speak louder than pants.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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