return my video game
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
