glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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