At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
