I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
