I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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