trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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