Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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